What it is
Social media has turned keeping up with people into watching their announcements: the engagement, the baby, the new job. Whole friendships get reduced to "I saw on Facebook that they..." What's left is bits and pieces of a person you once knew, an avatar without the humor, character, or context. This practice is the direct route instead: when someone crosses your mind or your feed, close the app and send them a real message, make the call, or set up the visit.
Why it matters
Watching someone's announcements makes you a bystander to their life instead of a participant in it. You end up remembering people by their milestones instead of by moments you actually shared, and the relationship quietly becomes parasocial even though you know each other. The fix costs almost nothing. A direct message asking how the new city is treating them gets you more of a person in two minutes than a year of passive scrolling, and it signals something the like button never can: that they're worth your actual attention. Most people are starved for exactly that.
What to practice
- When a post makes you think "good for them", tell them directly instead of liking it
- Keep a loose list of people to call during drives and walks
- Reply to the announcement with a question about everything the post left out
- Once in a while, close the loop in person: the visit is the whole point