Relational Infrastructure

Building foundations for genuine connection

Practice · Errands & Daily Life

Skip the Drive-Through

Park, walk in, and order from a person. Trade ninety seconds of savings for an actual human moment.

What it is

A standing rule for errands: no drive-throughs, no kiosks, no mobile ordering. Park the car, walk inside, and order from a person. It works for coffee, fast food, the pharmacy, and especially the bank, where the walk-in teller will greet you like the drive-through ATM never has. Giving it up for a fixed period, the way you'd give something up for Lent, is a good way to start, because a deadline makes the awkward first weeks easier to push through.

Why it matters

Run the math on a decade of drive-throughs, self-checkouts, and mobile orders and it comes out to thousands of small human moments traded away for about ninety seconds each. That's loneliness compounding quietly underneath a life that looks efficient. Walking in reverses the trade. You'll notice the system is now built around the people who didn't want to be there, and you'll sometimes be treated like a second-class customer for showing up in person. You'll also notice that when you do reach a human, the interaction is usually warmer and more personal than any speaker box. Both things are true, and the second one is worth the first.

What to practice

  • Pick a period and commit: thirty days, or a season, with no drive-throughs or kiosks
  • Go inside at the bank; the tellers are some of the last small-talk professionals left
  • When there's a cashier and a kiosk, choose the cashier even if the line is longer
  • Order at the counter and wait there instead of mobile ordering ahead

Go deeper

Rooted in

  • Friction - The small inconvenience of doing things the human way, which is also where most casual contact comes from.
  • Anti-Human Systems - Systems built with good intentions that quietly work against the humans inside them, and make people blame themselves for it.
  • Acknowledgment - Being seen and greeted by the people around you. The smallest unit of belonging.
← Back to the Field GuideLast updated July 2, 2026